V: “Their Friends Are My Friends”
Despite initial anxieties about preserving their social status, many governesses who successfully secured positions in New Zealand wrote positively about their experiences. Being welcomed into their employer's social circles was a valued point of difference, and it was regularly remarked upon.
Governess Marion Hett wrote happily from Wellington in 1873, for instance, that she felt like part of the family she worked for, stating: "Their friends are my friends."¹ Similarly, Harriet Herbert (an agent for the Female Middle Class Emigration Society) observed that New Zealand governesses were treated "more like family than in England."²
These comments stand in stark contrast to accounts of the social isolation governesses often endured in Britain. They show how, in some scenarios, New Zealand's more fluid and informal class structures ultimately benefited these women, offering them a sense of belonging and community that was denied to them in their home country.
The memoir of Anne Elizabeth Cooper (1838-1924) articulates the support she received as a young woman and new migrant in Lyttelton and Christchurch.
When Anne’s father fell ill and could no longer work, she took up work as a governess to contribute to her family’s income. Her personal account shows how friendships and community connections became a tangible form of social capital, providing not only emotional support but also practical help with finding work, easing the burden of illness, and offering a vital sense of belonging in a new country.
This collection of family photographs provides a rare glimpse into the life of a governess. The images show governess Miss Cogan, who worked for the family of Reverend Carrington in Christchurch around the turn of the century, fully integrated into family life, participating in events like a garden party and a summer camping trip, and family portraits.
In New Zealand, governesses were more frequently welcomed into their employer’s social spaces and treated as social equals. While the blurring of class hierarchies elsewhere in colonial society often unsettled governesses and threatened their claims to social superiority, within their own employment, this relaxation of social divisions directly and personally benefited them. These photos stand as a powerful visual record of this dynamic.
Hugh, Joan, Charlie and Connie Carrington as well as Miss Cogan (the Governess), likely in College House garden, Christchurch, Canterbury Museum, Rev Charles Carrington photograph 2012.61.41.
Carrington family camping at Kowhai Bush Christchurch, Canterbury Museum, Rev Charles Carrington photograph 2012.61.56.
Social gathering in College House garden, Christchurch, Canterbury Museum, Rev Charles Carrington photograph 2012.61.63.
Carrington family at College House 1904. L to R: Chris, Philip, Miss Cogan (the governess), Charlie, Father (Charles), Hugh, Guy Thomas, Joan and Connie (Mother). Canterbury Museum, Rev Charles Carrington photograph 2012.61.3.
¹ London, The Women’s Library at LSE, 1/FME (Letterbook of the FMCES, 1862–1876, Letter from Marion Hett, October 1873).
² ibid., (Letterbook of the FMCES, 1877–1882, Letter from Harriet Herbert, May 1879).